Sugar and Cholesterol : The Quest For Elite Easter Eats

Author : Zack Madison

It’s the Easter season, and everywhere you look young people and the young at heart alike are celebrating with eggs, or candy, or candy shaped like eggs, or plastic eggs filled with candy, or even sometimes plastic eggs filled with candy that is itself shaped like smaller eggs. It is a busy and sometimes confusing time for the candy and egg enthusiast. Even though we all associate them with Easter, strangely, candy and eggs are almost never combined in one dish. With that in mind, my wife and I have set out to combine classic Easter candy and eggs in a series of recipes that I have named after rock bands to appease my ocd about how this is a music and food fusion website. Welcome to our quest to create the ultimate Easter food.

First, I turned to social media to create a list of the most quintessential Easter candies, mostly because I wanted my friends to all know that I know what the word ‘quintessential’ means. From there I got this list: Cadbury Creme Eggs, Cadbury Mini Eggs, peanut butter eggs, Peeps, jelly beans, Robin Eggs, and chocolate bunnies. Also, one guy said candy corn, which is apparently an Easter thing, but I didn’t think anybody even ate that stuff at Halloween so I skipped it. Once social media had helped me compile this list, the only time social media has ever helped someone accomplish a practical task, it was time to go to the store and get some candy.

Once all the ingredients were gathered and photographed for posterity, it was time for some experimental cooking. The best kind! (When it works!) Prepare to be frustrated at my generalities and poorly described cooking steps. Here are our recipes and our opinions on how they turned out:

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Reese’s and Bow Wow Wow present the I Want Candy For Breakfast Omelet

Peanut Butter Egg Omelet was the phrase I misheard that set me off on the quest to discover the ultimate combination Easter food, so it is only right that it’s the first dish we try. The cooking won’t be especially complicated here, this thing is just a regular omelet, but with crumbled up Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs as the main topping. For the sake of “I think it would taste pretty good” we’re also gonna throw in some bacon and cheese, though.

Recipe:

2 slices bacon
2 eggs
1 Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg
shredded cheddar to taste

1. Fry up that bacon in a pan. Everyone likes their bacon a little different, so you go ahead and do this how you like. The important part is that you leave the grease in the pan so we can cook the omelet in it. Cooking eggs in the grease is basically the whole reason bacon is a breakfast food.
2. Scramble up the eggs in a bowl and whip them until they have a smooth consistency. Also, kind of smash up the peanut butter egg into chunks in a separate bowl. I know it’s tempting because they are both filled with a type of egg, but don’t confuse these bowls. Oh yeah, crumble up the bacon, too. You should have 3 bowls of things that you have smashed down to tiny chunks of their previous selves.
3. Pour the scrambled eggs into the frying pan over low to medium heat. When they start to firm up, dump some bacon, cheese, and peanut butter egg crumbles over half. When that all seems good, flip the other half of the omelet over to create a half circle. Flip this once or twice just to make sure it is fully cooked and looks delicious.
4. Eat it. Spend the rest of the day telling people you eat Reese’s for breakfast.

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It was educational. As it turns out, crumbling up a Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg is more difficult than originally estimated. A knife and cutting board quickly turned that egg into a series of cubes, however, and we moved on to cooking.

The end result was tasty, but perhaps overly rich. The cheese side of the omelet was much better than the cheese free side, because the cheese helped blunt the chocolate peanut butter taste, which was too strong overall. I think we used too much peanut butter egg. If you try this at home, I would suggest only adding half of the peanut butter egg to the omelet, and holding the rest back, perhaps to add as crumbles after the cooking is complete to taste, or perhaps to make a second omelet.

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Cadbury CREAM Sunny Side Of Your Love

Easily the worst egg/candy fusion idea I’ve had, the Cadbury CREAM Sunny Side Of Your Love is something I had to do because I was so enamoured by the name I came up with for it. It is also probably the purest of all of these recipes because it is literally just an egg and a piece of candy, rammed together in an unholy fusion with no concern for whether or not it was a good idea for either party, like a culinary Island of Dr. Moreau.

Recipe:

1 egg
1 Cadbury Creme Egg

1. Cook that egg sunny side up. You don’t need my help with this. We’re both adults.
2. Plop your sunny side up egg on a plate and scoop out the yolk with a melon baller or ice cream scoop. Remember that I said we’re both adults? Keep that in mind.
3. Well, now you empty the Cadbury Creme Egg’s frosting yolk into the original yolk’s newly vacated crater. Keep pretending that these are things adults would do.
4. Eat it and remember: you paid your taxes this year, so you are definitely still an adult. They can’t take that away from you.

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Tasty! The idea was to use the chocolate egg pieces left from the Cadbury egg to scoop up egg and creme from the dish as you would use toast for a regular sunny side up egg. This allowed the eater to manage the mixture of tastes themselves, which was ideal. The egg creme frosting sweet flavor completely won out over the chocolate flavor, and actually went with the egg white from the fried egg quite nicely. Would eat again.

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Jelly Belly 151flavor Bright Whites Quichi Bashi

This recipe title is my favorite. I still can’t even read Quichi Bashi without grinning like an idiot, and I came up with it like 5 hours ago. (Side Note: if you ever get a chance to see Kishi Bashi live, do it; that guys has one of the coolest live shows I have ever seen.) Anyway, this dish is a jelly bean quiche made with egg whites. The idea is to use Jelly Belly, the jellybean known for lots of flavors, in place of… you know, all the vegetables or fruit. Who needs healthy things when we have candy? To inspire even more of your confidence, I will now admit that I have never made a quiche before, and now I am going to tell you how to make one, and you will probably believe me. That’s the power of the internet.

Recipe:

1 cup of egg whites
½ cup of half and half
¼ cup of sugar
½ tsp vanilla extract
A bag of Jelly Belly jellybeans to taste

1. Preheat your oven to 350, and mix up everything but your jelly beans in a bowl. Butter up a glass pie pan. You don’t have to do anything with the jellybeans at this point, but go ahead and eat a few. Nobody’s going to miss them. Also, if there are some flavors you hate, you could pick them out? I don’t know, I don’t think about jelly beans often enough to have ones that I hate. Haha, just kidding, nobody likes buttered popcorn.
2. Add the egg whites and half and half to the pie pan, then evenly spread in the jelly beans.
3. Add some food coloring on the top and use a toothpick to make a swirly, festive design.
4. Cook this until you can stick in a knife and pull it out clean (which is a common thing to read in recipes but sounds like something a serial killer might say), probably 30-35 minutes.

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It’s a tad gooey, and the Jelly beans are all stuck in the bottom. The swirly, festive design is nowhere to be found, although the whole thing does look pretty psychedelic. I think this would have turned out better if we either used less eggs or, as my wife suggested, cook it partway and add in the jellybeans when the bottom has already firmed up. I am refrigerated the rest to see if it tastes better chilled (as befits a dessert quiche), but it is still not great. Alas, a failure.

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The St. Vincent Peep Birth in Reverse Not so Deviled Eggs

Recipe:

See, the Peep is like a chick, but instead of growing up into a big ol’ marshmallow chicken it gets shoved inside of an egg and then crammed inside of an orifice. I am sorry I just compared our mouths to marshmallow chicken cloacas, but that’s how similes work. Note that I am trying out 2 varieties here, one with just Peep and one with the Peep mixed with the yolk like in regular deviled eggs.

hard boiled eggs
Peeps

1. Cut open the eggs lengthwise and scoop out the yolks.
2. Gooify the Peeps. Hint: use a microwave. If you are mixing in the yolks, mix them with the gooified Peeps. Gooified Peeps would be a good name for a band.
3. Spoon your Peep mixture into the yolk crater in each slice of egg white.
4. I made cinnamon Peep sugar out of cinnamon and the Peep coating dust left in the bottom of the package and garnished with that.
5. Chill. Like, chill the eggs in the refrigerator, but also, you should chill.

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Totally gross. Possibly poison, I will let you know if I die. Neither variation suggested above is good to eat in any meaningful way. Don’t make these or accept these from others if offered. If starving, continue to starve. The only recipe on this list we just straight threw in the trash.

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Rockin Robin Eggs in a Bacon & Egg Nest

When they first started playing basketball, it took them a few years to think to put a hole in the bucket so they wouldn’t have to climb up and get the ball after each successful basket. That’s kind of what Bacon & Egg Cups are to breakfast if you replace “a few years” with “all of recorded history.” Anyway, they look like nests, so we just decided to throw some eggs in there.

Recipe:

bacon
egg
Robin Egg
cheese

1. Cook the bacon partway in a frying pan for 2 or 3 minutes. Preheat the oven to 350.
2. Get a muffin tin, grease it up good, and wrap a piece of bacon around the sides of each muffin imprint. We only have a mini muffin tin, so I used half a slice of bacon for each, your results may vary.
3. Normally you would crack the eggs straight into each muffin imprint, but with a mini muffin tin there is no way that is going to fit, so I scrambled them up first and divvied each egg into 2 mini muffins. This is probably still too much egg.
4. Drop a couple Robin Eggs in the middle of each cup. They float!! Also, you could add crumbled up Robin Eggs and/or cheese here, I tried all of these things.
5. Bake for 15-20 minutes, until you can stick a toothpick in and it comes out clean. Our oven runs super hot, so it only took us 10 minutes.

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Pretty good! We tried them in a few varieties: with and without cheese, Robin Eggs whole or crumbled. The whole eggs won out, as the sweetness all contained into one point seemed like it added to the dish overall, whereas with the sweetness spread out the effect just made it too saccharine. The cheese was kind of a wash: it wasn’t incredibly noticeable over the sweet taste of the eggs. Watch out, Robin Eggs get hot and chewy when you cook them.

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Devo Style Whip It Good Zabaglione with Cadbury Mini Egg Crumbles

I don’t even know what this is offhand, but wikipedia tells me Zabaglione is an Italian dessert that is kind of like a frothy yet thin pudding and it is normally served in a champagne glass, which is probably too classy for my house anyway. It’s served with fruit, so obviously we went with strawberries, because I remembered I had some in the refrigerator.

Recipe:

4 egg yolks
⅓ cup sugar
4 tsp vanilla extract
crumbled up Cadbury Mini Eggs to taste
Cut up strawberries

1. Crush the Mini Eggs with a rolling pin in a plastic bag. Cut up the strawberries and put them in your champagne glass.
2. Whisk everything but the strawberries and crumbles in a double boiler until it gets frothy.
3. Take it off the oven and mix in some of the crumbles. Save some crumbles to garnish.
4. That’s it. Pour it on top of the strawberries. Grats, I think you are a professional chef now.
5. Chill this in the fridge, then garnish with the rest of those crumbles.

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Good stuff! The zabaglione was incredibly sweet, but the strawberries were tart enough to mesh with that perfectly. The crushed up Mini Eggs added a sort of thicker texture to the pudding like zabaglione, which I thought made it stand out.

custard_in_the_wind

Custard in the Wind including a Chocolate Bunny from Kansas lets say

Man, I am clearly running out of egg puns at this point, but we are also out of Easter candies, so this will be the last recipe. And I didn’t even get a chance to use “She’s got eggs and she knows how to use them.” Anyway, here is another dessert, a delicious chocolate custard. Hopefully this is the one that lets me smash this bunny with a hammer.

Recipe:

3 egg yolks
1 chocolate bunny
⅛ tsp sea salt
⅛ cup sugar
½ tsp vanilla extract
¾ cup heavy cream

1. Crush the bunny into specks. You may use a hammer, but a rolling pin and plastic bag probably works best. Resist the urge to leave his head and drop it into the boiling liquid to recreate that last scene from Terminator. Mix up dry ingredients that are not chocolate.
2. Add the heavy cream to a warmed double boiler. Let it heat up, then add dry ingredients and chocolate. Whisk like a maniac until it gets smooth.
3. Add a spoonful of the mixture from the stove to the yolks, to temper them. Then you can add them in, and keep whisking over heat for 2-3 more minutes, until it gets thick.
4. Pour it into cups, cover them, and put them in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours.

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It ended up the consistency of pudding. We garnished with strawberry, because we could, which complemented the chocolate flavor beautifully. The only real issue is that neither of us likes pudding, but we have resolved to find a pudding fan and make them eat this without telling them a bunny had to die for it.

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